A Hard Lesson to Learn

My fingers brush across the keys. Words twirl in my mind. I glance out the window, dark clouds are rolling in. Oh how thankful I am by that sight! Hopefully they will take away they hot weather that has been haunting this little town of Gulu. Just today the temperature was at 131°F in the sun. I'm also thankful for the fan that turns around the room sending its wonderful breeze into the hot house. Sweat trickles on my head. Memories seem to be haunting my brain. Memories of loved ones...ones that i trusted and now have hurt me. Oh God, please help me forgive...Forgiveness..how foolish i was to think that one could forgive once and forget. No, pain haunts you. It is like a snake, you forgive the snake for the bite, but the wound still stings, you must give it time to heal, and sometimes it takes years. Yes you forgave, but the wound still pounds with pain, reminding you of the culprit and how much they hurt you, which brings back the tears and pain. You must keep forgiving. Over and over again! It is a hard lesson that i have learned, but it is a lesson that must be learned. I laugh at my stupidness, thinking that this person has hurt me one too many times. "They don't deserve to be forgiven!" I tell myself..but alas, neither do I. I mess up everyday. And yet my Savior forgave me. And He still forgives me. So why shouldn't i forgive someone again and again? Am i really that selfish? Am i really too selfish to refuse to give others the gift that my dear Jesus lovingly gave me? Sometimes i am. But Jesus still forgives. And i am blessed to be so loved by a King <3

Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Colossians 3:13