I'm Listening

Recently I’ve been questioning whether God is still there. If He’s still the same as He was with Adam and Eve. If He’s still the same as He was with Abraham. If He was still the same as He was with Moses. If He’s still the same as He was with Paul. If He is still the same as He was with Samuel. Why doesn’t He speak to me as clearly as He did with Samuel?

Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD: The word of the LORD had not yet been revealed to him. A third time the LORD called, “Samuel!” And Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am; you called me.” Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, ‘Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.’” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak LORD, for your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:7-11

And I today I told myself ‘Well of course He is!” God is NEVER changing! He’s the same today, yesterday, a year from now, a thousand years from now, and a thousand years ago! But I have been closing myself up. I’m not opening my heart and letting my Savior in. I get angry because I haven’t heard Jesus talking to me, but that’s because I have so many other things blaring into my ears, whether it’s music, tv, internet, lies, even people. And I’m not opening my ears and searching for Jesus. I need to ask God to open my heart, because I can’t do it myself.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

I need my Savior to open my heart.

After this year in Uganda, I feel as though this year has been a waste. I feel that it’s been thrown away. My mom has told me that God is using it to teach me something, “What is He trying to teach me?!” Why can’t God just throw a giant sign at me saying “I want you to (insert what You want me to do here, God)” But maybe God is teaching me something..

I need my Savior to open my heart.

It’s hard to be away from my best friends. It’s hard to be away from my family. It’s hard to be away from my church. It’s hard to away from my big brother and sister. It’s hard. But maybe God is trying to teach me how I need HIM! Even when I am away from my family and friends, all I need is Him.

If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14:26

God says that we should love Him so much that it should look like we hate our family and even our own life! So if my heart is attached to my family and friends in America, then I cannot fully be Jesus’s disciple. I cannot hear my Savior if I am so busy loving my family and friends that I’m not loving and listening to Jesus. I need to love Jesus more! I want to love Jesus more! I want to be able to talk to Jesus! And I know that my Jesus wants to walk with me!

And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.

Genesis 5:24

He wants to catch us in His arms and take us away, to be with Him! But we can be in His arms, each time we cry out to Him! Each time we pray! We just have to listen.

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.